Jul 4 2011


Lara had rolled into a kind of loading bay with trolleys and shelves and a lighted ramp way.  The trolleys were rolling about the room at free will since the owner of the ship hadn’t the time nor perhaps the necessary foresight to tie them down.

The walls were a shiny metal and the floor was just plain black.  No special tile or carpet or anything like that, just black.  There was a doorway directly ahead of her, which she supposed went to the rest of the ship.

“The ship?”  She asked herself, stupefied.  She had convinced herself she was finally off her rocker and everything that was occurring was just a happy delirious dream, but it didn’t seem like the kind of dream she’d think up if she were crazy.  And, when she really thought about it, she didn’t feel that crazy.  But do people who are crazy feel crazy?  She wondered.

The strange lost duck man was obviously the owner and operator of the ship.  “Just my luck,” thought Lara, “I can’t even dream up a hunk of a man to come and rescue me from the destruction of earth.  I dream up a lost duck man.  Though I suppose he did have rather a kind face.”

Now, Lara is an earth woman, and you can’t blame her for feeling this way, because all earth women have a natural propensity to find something attractive about their rescuers.  Even when those rescuers have SSS and really shouldn’t be considered in any positive light whatsoever.  But Lara, let us remember, does not know about SSS, and will probably ignore most of the rules the rest of the universe follows.  The forgetting of the towel was just the first indicator; the fact that she found anything redeemable about Rune is the second.  A third, I am quite certain, will surface in a matter of moments.

Earth, and therefore earth women, is a generally backward place.  Again, this part of why it was selected to be blown up.  Everyone was pretty sure they’d blow themselves up eventually anyway because they can’t do anything right.

Rune, meanwhile, was frantically trying to get the on board computer to tell him where they were headed.  He was trying everything he could think of, but the computer was feeling particularly moody and argumentative and so he wasn’t getting anywhere.  Rune cursed himself for selecting the personality of his Aunt Jikyl for his onboard computer.  At the time it had seemed like such a good idea, after all Aunt Jikyl was very smart and knew her way around the galaxy, however, she was also prone to long periods of absolutely hateful spite.  Here’s how the conversation went:

“Please will you tell me where we are going?”

“But why not?”

“Figure it out yourself.”

“Alright then I will.  Bring up the navigation charts.”

“You couldn’t read those if they were explained to you twenty times.”

“May I just see them?”


“Why not?”

“I don’t feel like it.”

“But you’re my onboard computer!  You’re supposed to be helpful and do as I say!”

“Do as you say?  Do as you say?!  Let me tell you something!  The only thing I am going to do is go for a little snooze to update my systems.  And the next time you bring out that attitude I’ll self-destruct.  Then where will you be?  Nowhere.  Millions of pieces.  Space dust.  Not the pretty kind either.  Just normal, dull ugly space dust.  And then the Vac-Ur-Space will clean you out.”

Rune sighed deeply.  “Alright, I’m sorry.  If I let you go for a snooze then will you tell me where we’re going?”


“Why not?”

“Because I don’t want to.  You can wait and find out.”

“But will it be a good planet?  Will it help my mission?”

“Your mission is doomed anyhow.”

“Why is that?”

“Because the bloody planet that the rock was on was blown up that’s why.  And no one cares.  No one cares about that stupid rock but you.  And you’re a frilly grogged dingle fanny.  I hope you die and your face gets used as toilet paper.  Even your brother didn’t think it was important enough for him to go on a mission.  My guess?  He wanted you to die out here.  Figured your SSS would surely do you in.  Sad it didn’t.  Shall we call him and ask?”

“No, no…”

But it was too late because the onboard computer had already dialed Rhett’s number.  As Rhett was picking up the call the computer said to him, “You’ve got a stowaway on board by the way… and she’s about to disable your thrust.  You might want to do something about it…”

Rune’s face turned pale white and he ran from the room.  His brother shouted profanities after him for disturbing his rather enjoyable time with Nivo.  Rune ignored him and only hoped he got to whatever strange stowaway he’d picked up in time.  He also hoped the stowaway was not dangerous or inflicted with disease or some form of flesh eating monster.

As a precaution he picked up his towel (A rather faded blue affair with steam powered airships on it) and took it along.

In case it escaped your notice, the third indicator of Lara ignoring every sensible rule of the universe has just happened.  She has found a red button and has in a fit of curious compulsion, pushed it.  This opened a control panel and Lara started to muck with it.  The thrust would be turned of in three seconds unless…

To be continued…

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